No-one is a failure…

That sounds like a glib statement, but most people I talk to - particularly women - feel that they are wanting in some way or another - they get overly anxious about being ‘normal’ - I repeatedly hear in my work ‘why can’t I… ?’ ‘Why do I…? ‘How can I…?’

The other day I was talking to an acquaintance, she’s beautiful, she’s got a lovely home and family and, to the outside world, she ‘has it all’. However, she has been unwell for most of her life with various issues - physical and emotional, and she still feels unfulfilled or ‘not enough’ in some way.

It doesn’t matter what it looks like to the outside world. It’s what your inner beliefs are telling you that counts. I have treated hundreds of people and what I’ve learned as a therapist is that most people want love, praise, security, to feel that they have accomplished something, which they probably have, but was it, is it, enough? “I am feeling such a failure - why can’t I do better? Why haven’t I achieved enough? Why don’t people see my talents? Why am I hopeless with money and/or relationships? Why do I procrastinate so much rather just diving in and getting the job done?”

If wealth, success, and love aren’t familiar to you because of a family background or history you had no part in choosing, how can you ever overcome this and find happiness and fulfillment for yourself?

Gosh, well… your brain is so absolutely brilliant and clever it told you some things that triggered the issues above, and then you may have gone on to reinforce those actions to cement the thoughts into your brain so that it felt familiar and helpful in some way.

And I’ll let you in to a secret - your brain is so absolutely brilliant and clever that you can actively choose to make the unfamiliar things you do want, familiar. How cool is that?

Studies show repeatedly that our familiarity with certain feelings is not fixed; we are constantly relearning what’s familiar.

Everyone has achieved something in their lives - big and small - let’s recognise what we all have within us to give to others, let our brain relax and surrender those bad thoughts and introduce the new thoughts, the positive thoughts, the thoughts which will help to show you that you can kick those unhelpful thoughts into the weeds and embrace the new, wonderful, positive you. How freeing would that feel?